Still Trusting...

 Psalm 73:14
"All day long I am afflicted and every morning brings new punishments. Yet I am always with You.You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel and afterward You will take me into Your glory. My flesh and heart may fail, but GOD is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. "

August 16th: Dusty wakes up like usual for work. The night before we had come home late from the fair and since I hadnt heard either child stir, I decided to be lazy for a few more minutes. Until Dusty was standing at my side saying "Babe, wake up....we were robbed."   At first I thought I was dreaming. "what?!" I gasped.  Dusty walked me into the living room. There was a gaping hole where our tv once was. "They took our phones too, and  my wallet." Dusty continued.
Barely able to make sense of my thoughts,  "The kids are ok?"
"Yes, it was the first place I looked. They are sound asleep".

No one can prepare you for moments like these. Tears streamed down my face as I shuddered at the thought of strangers being in my house. While we slept. While my children slept. But wait, why didn't we hear anything? My mind started racing with every scenario. At that moment, I felt more out of control then ever before.

 Dusty left to go to my parents to call the police, and there I was left alone with my thoughts. The
 only thing I knew I had control of was my next reaction. I began to walk around the downstairs of my house, where I guessed they had been, and began to pray. Not only did I find myself praising and thanking God for our protection, I actually said the words "I pray for whoever did this to us.....that you have mercy on them, and that one day they will come to know You like I know You. " Believe me, my flesh wanted to pray for vengeance, for those selfish people to be caught and punished for the uneccessary act of violence.  But I didn't. I'm not writing this in order to receive some sort of  spiritual pat on the back. I write this as an encouragement to both people who know God, believe in Him, and have a personal relationship with Him. And I especially write this to those that dont.

Often times (like in my last post in July about Trust) we are very quick to blame God for the bad things that happen to us. Or question why he didn't....you fill in the blank.  Sure, I guess I did ask questions, like why we didn't wake up, why they didn't take more, what made them leave (it appeared they left startled by somethng), or the best question of all, why did it even happen at all?

The days following the robbery were tough. I felt every emotion. I would go from one minute feeling so blessed and elated to have all my most important posessions (Dusty, Joey and Jazzie) unharmed and untouched, then shortly after sorting through the shock, sadness and anger. My sleep was minimal, fear began to creep in, and all the peace that I had experienced at first seemed to disappear into thin air.
 "Seriously God, Why did this happen?? I mean, I give up verything for You! I donate my time entirely, with no paycheck, at the studio. I am giving, I try to be a good mom and wife. We are involved in church, we do all the "right things" ....so what, this is the thanks we get?"
I was brutally honest with God. Sometimes you just have to be. In that moment I was reminded of the ultimate sacrifice that God gave me. His Son, Jesus Christ, so that I may have life. God doesn't care about my "deeds". He cares about my heart.

Whew.

Humbled. 
God wants to be my #1 desire.  And He is.  

Though I dont have all the answers, I can honestly say I praise God for that entire situation. Over the next few weeks, we were free from all media distractions. It was like someone pressed pause and time slowed down. We went on walks as a family, we ate dinner together with no tv on. We rediscovered what quality time meant. It was amazing! I hadn't realized how much a seemingly "have to have" device like a phone can disconnect you from your own family. 
So now we have rules and boundries regarding these things, and we help keep each other accountable.

Not only did the Lord reveal Himself in a new and deeper way to Dusty and I, He also
tugged on Joey's heart.

 For several nights after the incident Joey had a recurring dream of wolves coming to steal his spirit. That sparked incredibly in-depth conversations with him about the goodness of God and the existence of evil. How even though bad things happen, we have to continue to trust.
I reminded him, "Remember what you learned at church camp this summer?"
He said " yeah...."
I probed him further, "No matter what...."
He chimed in, "Trust God".  
His face lit up and peace came over him as he made the connection. I
couldn't promise him that his bad dreams would go away (though thankfully they did!)  But what I could promise him was God's peace and love in the midst of them.

 We will remain in the house that God blessed us with. (Though we do have a state of the art security system installed now) We believe His incredible protection is over our family.  

I leave you with this.
John 16:33   "I have told you these things, so that in Me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Still Trusting.....